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Top 15 Quick Jokes – Volume 1

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
– Because they make up everything.

Why did the tomato turn red?
– Because it saw the salad dressing.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
– Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
– Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why don’t oysters give to charity?
– Because they’re shellfish.

Why did the bicycle fall over?
– Because it was two-tired.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
– To get to the other slide.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
– An investigator.

What do you call a fake noodle?
– An impasta.

Why did the math book look so sad?
– Because it had too many problems.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
– It got mugged.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
– A gummy bear.

Why did the old man fall in the well?
– Because he couldn’t see that well.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
– Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

Why do cows wear bells
– Because their horns don’t work.




Hard forever

A dirty perverted young man died and went paradise where he is welcomed by groups of gays… Gay Leader: Hey dude, welcome to paradise. Young

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Dirty old man jerking

A couple riding in a three-sitter bus… Wife: Hon, there’s an old man jerking beside me. Husband: Nah, honey. Just ignore him. You know, there

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On the mirror

Three naughty conyo students at an exclusive girl’s school had a wicked habit of pressing their lips against a newly cleaned toilet mirror after they

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