Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
– Because they make up everything.
Why did the tomato turn red?
– Because it saw the salad dressing.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
– Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
– Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why don’t oysters give to charity?
– Because they’re shellfish.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
– Because it was two-tired.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
– To get to the other slide.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
– An investigator.
What do you call a fake noodle?
– An impasta.
Why did the math book look so sad?
– Because it had too many problems.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
– It got mugged.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
– A gummy bear.
Why did the old man fall in the well?
– Because he couldn’t see that well.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
– Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Why do cows wear bells
– Because their horns don’t work.
Don’t miss out a dose of your laughter as your best medicine!
When you sleep at 4am, is it going to bed to early or to late?
Son: Mom, I’m going to the moon someday!
Mom: Nah, son! NASA has already stopped sending monkeys to the moon!