Tagalog Jokes

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Mayor at Koleheyala

Si Mayor at and koleheyala pagkatapus mag-sex… Mayor: How much, girl? Koleheyala: 200 pesos only mayor. Mayor: Sure ka, 200 lang. Mabubuhay ka na ba

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Surf at Tide

Promoter: Misis, pag yung Tide at Surf ay ating pinaghalo, bubula ba? Misis: Aba, oo naman! Promoter: Mali! Misis: Bakit? Promoter: Kasi wala pang tubig.

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Crash landing

Flight Stewardess Announcing… Stewardess: You are now boarding flight 911 – ilang sandali po lamang at tayo ay lalapag na sabundok na walang paliparan. Passengers:

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Subrang tapang

Sitoy: Brad, subrang tapang pala nitong si Mang Kanor anoh?! Binoy: Di nga, paano nasabi? Sitoy: Abay, tumalon ba naman sa eroplano na walang parachute

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Inaanak

Natoy: Pre, kumusta! Kasama ko nga pala itong inaanak mo, gusto ka raw makita eh. Jerry: Bah, ang laki na pala ng inaanak ko pre.

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Inday na naman

Amo: Inday bakit sunog yang tainga mo? Inday: Kasi mam, may tumawag kanina. Napagkamalang kung telepono yung plantsa. Wrong number naman pala – ang tanga!

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Hilutin

Nanay: Anak, sabihin mo nga kay tatay mo na hilutin ako. Anak (Bulol): Tay, tabi daw ni nanay iyutin mo daw sya. Tatay: Sabihin mo

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Sensitive

Titser: Mam, kaya ko po kayo pinatawag kasi napakalikot po ng anak nyo. Mader: Oo nga po mam eh. Pasensya na po. Pero napaka sensitive

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Masakit ang tyan

Dodong: Dok, ang sakit ng tyan ko. Ano ba nangyari dito? Doktor: Bakit, kailan pa ba nagsimula yan? Dodong: Simula lang po nung kumain ako

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Paano mo sasabihin?

Paano mo sasabihin sa kausap mong babae na mukha syang lalaki na di sya maiimbyerna sayo…? “Oy, friend and ganda mo naman. Alam mo, kamukha

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Di na kinakausap

Bok: Dok, nag aalala ako dun sa kapatid ko. Kasi dati kinakausap nya sarili nya. Ngayon hindi na. Dok: Eh di dapat matuwa ka kasi

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Son: Mom, I’m going to the moon someday!
Mom: Nah, son! NASA has already stopped sending monkeys to the moon!