Nuts about Peanuts

Peter, a young office worker, was seated beside Paul an old office worker about to retire few months from now. Peter noticed Paul putting peanuts in a glass jar after every break time. After a couple of weeks, the jar is almost full of peanuts. So Peter decided to sneak into the peanuts while Paul […]

The Hotdog Slicer

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Bert was working in a hotdog factory in Manila. Unknown to his fellow workers, Bert has untoward fantasy. “I want to stick my organ into that hotdog slicer.” He told himself. Bert is so obsessed about his fantasy that he started talking about it with his drinking buddies. “For peace of mind, just do it.” […]

Choices

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Sa Eroplano… Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir? Sir: What are my choices Stewardess: Yes or No. SHARE Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on pinterest Share on whatsapp  COPY RELATED POSTS COMMENTS

Empleyado Blues

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Pedro: Hayop ka! ginawa mo ko tauhan sa sakahan. Pero sahod ko hindi tumaas! Kung mamatay ako sinong magpapakain ng pamilya ko, ikaw?! Juan: Inglisin mo para taasan ko sahod mo! Pedro: Animal you! Make me manman in the farm, my salary did not climb! If I die, who will eat my family, you? SHARE […]

Mga Baliw

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A nurse came to visit his mental patients. P1: (Nagbabasa ng encyclopedia) Nurse: Wow! Improving ka! That’s good! P2: (Nagbabasa ng dictionary) Nurse: Cool! Pagpatuloy mo lang yan. P3: (Nakatayo sa mesa with arms wide open) “…ako ang ilaw!” Nurse: Hoy! Bumaba ka nga dyan, wala ka pa rin pagbabago. (Bumaba si P3 at naupo.) […]

Isinampay

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Doc: O, Pedro talagang magaling ka na. Akalain mo sinagip mo yung friend mo nalulunod. Pedro: Oo nga doc! Doc: Pero sayang at nagbigti sya. Pedro: Ay, hindi po doc. Isinampay ko po sya dun para matuyo. SHARE Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on pinterest Share on whatsapp  COPY RELATED POSTS COMMENTS

Hospital service

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Pasyente: Doc, ok ba service ng hospital na to? Doc: Aba syempre, oo naman! Pasyente: Ano guarantee ko? Doc: Guarantee namin. Ibabalik namin sakit mo pag di ka nasatisfy. SHARE Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on pinterest Share on whatsapp  COPY RELATED POSTS COMMENTS

Babangga

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Driver: Boy, alalay. Iaatras ko itong dyip. Tingnan mo kong babangga. Boy: Sige atras pa…sige atras pa. Atras pa ng kunti. BLAG! Boy: O, ayan bumangga na! SHARE Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on pinterest Share on whatsapp  COPY RELATED POSTS COMMENTS

Rosaryo

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Sa isang barko… Kapitan: Lulubog ang barko! Sino sa inyo ang marunong mag rosaryo? Juan: Ako ho kap. Kapitan: Sige Juan simulan mo na. Kasi kulang ng isang salbabida! SHARE Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on pinterest Share on whatsapp  COPY RELATED POSTS COMMENTS

Baliw

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Isang mental patient ang namimingwit sa buhanginan… Dok: Oy, galing nyan ah! Ilang isda na ba ang huli mo dyan? Patient: Anong isda!? May isda ba sa buhanginan. Baliw!  SHARE Share on facebook Share on twitter Share on pinterest Share on whatsapp COPY RELATED POSTS COMMENTS